Funny Shit to Say to Virgins
I lost my virginity
Dad: Oh my god... are you serious?? Me: No dad, i'm Kevin
What did Han solo said when he lost his virginity??
I just got leia-d
Wanna hear a joke about my uncle and my virginity?
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I lost two things today. My virginity...
...and my job at the morgue.
I've lost my virginity - can I have yours?
Lmao Just kidding, I'm a redditor so I've never talked to a warmen..
My friend with one testicle lost his virginity in a threesome.
That was 2 birds with 1 stone.
How does olive oil lose its virginity?
I just lost my virginity today in woodworking class.
Probably the only time i will get nailed (through the leather soul and foot).
P.S: i am alright, no infection.
"I ain't afraid of no holy ghost." ~ The Virgin Murray.
Did y'all know there no canary's in the Canary Islands? The Virgin Islands are the same!
There aren't any canary's there either.
What do you call virgin nachos?
Chips.
Happy Super bowl everyone!
Today I bought extra virgin olive oil
After I used it it was just olive oil.
Virgin Airways
I will never fly Virgin Airways. Why would you fly an airline that's never gone all the way?
Instant virgin (づ￣ ³￣)づ
Why was the virgin always running?
Because she was being chaste!
Where does extra virgin olive oil comes from ?
Really ugly olives.
Apple Pie is a ridiculous $5 a slice in the U.S., but only $1 in Jamaica, the Bahamas, & the Virgin Islands
Those are the pie rates of the Caribbean
Did you know that there are no canaries in the Canary Islands? And the same thing applies to the Virgin Islands;
There are no canaries there either.
Wellllllllllllllllllllll.....
Virgin Gang
They say you are what you eat. Well I don't remember eating a damn Pussy.
Attila the Hun had a pet snake who refused to eat.
He tried everything: rodents, small animals, and even cuts from larger animals, but it wouldn't eat.
As a last resort, he offered a virgin, but still the snake wouldn't eat. So, he called up the village's wise man.
Without hesitation, the wise man put two pieces of bread on the woman, and the snake ate her whole.
When Attila asked why, the wise man responded,
"Thine anaconda don't want nun unless you've got buns, hun!"
How do we know Richard Pryor wasn't a virgin birth?
His mom had Dick Pryor.
What would Ed Sheeran be if he wasn't a musician?
A Virgin .
What do you call an English virgin?
Humphrey.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
Just had a painter and decorator round, hes a furloughed Virgin Atlantic pilot.
He made a lovely job of the landing....
Must be destiny('s child)
Winners never lose.
That's why I haven't lost my virginity.
How does virgin olive oil become extra virgin olive oil?
After getting dating advice from a Redditor.
yes
im not a virgin, im unsusexful
Why was the virgin left hanging?
How do old French men know so much about cheese?
They learn fromage
What is the main difference between a golfer and a virgin?
The virgin stops existing after his first hole in one,
I made a wish with a genie to not die as a virgin....
He made me immortal
Marry him !!
Don't Plan a Trip With Virgin Airlines
They never go all the way.
There once was a girl named Virginia
They called her Virgin for short... But not for long!!!
Long, stupid Dad joke
The ancient Greeks greatly feared volcanic explosions from Mt. Olympus, so they developed a tradition of sacrificing young maidens to the Gods on the mountain. Every year they selected five girls, and sacrificed four. Then they assigned the other one to stomp the olive harvest. That's where we get Extra Virgin Olive Oil.
My transformation is almost complete
So my wife is currently working from home and her employer decided to send her a hamper package in the mail. It was quite nice but pretty standard stuff. Wine, some cookies, crackers and also a bottle extra virgin olive oil (came with a cheese platter kit)
Wife was pretty happy about the fancy packaging and showed it to me saying "look they even sent extra virgin olive oil in this little fancy bottle for cheese platters!"
My response? "Aww that poor olive oil bottle never had sex? So sad!"
...Pls send help
What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A roamin' Catholic.
My wife will probably die a virgin.
Cause I'm a god in bed.
TIL: there are no canaries on the Canary Islands. The Virgin Islands are the same..
There are no canaries there either.
You know how the Canary islands is a misnomer, since there's no canaries? It's the same with the Virgin Islands
There's no canaries there either
What do you call an athletic nun
Virgin Mobile
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Source: https://punstoppable.com/virginity-puns
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